Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

How drunk are you??

(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm flawless.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Do you want the good news or bad news first?

(678): View more from Georgia

bad news

(205): View more from Alabama

The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile

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(630): View more from Illinois

Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops

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(765): View more from Indiana

Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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(707): View more from California

Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.

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(301): View more from Maryland

she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high

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