I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
