Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
