He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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