I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
