He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
