Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize