I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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