K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
