arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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