Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
