Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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