wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
