420 ftw
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
