How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
