Just cropdusted the office
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
