my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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