Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
