My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
