Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
