Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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