Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
