There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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