Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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