Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
