I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
