Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
