he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
