just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
