Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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