Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
