glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
