Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
