After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
false alarm. still invincible.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
