Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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