I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize