She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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