Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
