You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
