theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
this is an emotional support booty call
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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