I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize