If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
