you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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