butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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