Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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