Don't you send me to vm
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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