dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
