do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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