he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize