If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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