can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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