i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
