Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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