I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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