walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
