Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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