this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
