i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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